You’ve Heard of Elf on the Shelf, Now Get Ready for…

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Hey internet, it’s me, Jason Torchinsky. Editors note: No it isn’t. 

As you know, I am a Quirky Car Guy™ and also the guy who picks through the dumpster after Jalopnik brainstorming sessions and turns every single worthless, unloved POS topic idea into a real article that I expect actual humans to read and enjoy. Want to know what CRAZY name of the fabric in the seats of ’89 Ford Tempos was called? I’ll write about 800 words about it. Want to know what _____ would look like if I Photoshopped ____ onto it? Check out my mad skillz.


Want me to stop creaming my pants at every mention of a Disney Pixar Cars movie? Ehhh, too late for that, but maybe next time.

Anyway, as you also know, I am in touch with the youth™ of the internet. And ever-reliable Buzzfeed has told me that there’s a new meme floating around. They’re simply hilarious! Look at the the comedy in this! So funny!

Well, now it’s time to put my self-proclaimed creative genius to work, and make this all about cars. So buckle up (holy shit look at that car pun I am the greatest) and see how many you can guess correctly in this OH SO FUNNY article:

You’ve heard of Elf on the Shelf, now get ready for…

Bugatti on the new potty

(Bugatti on the potty)

Lamborghini on the ham zucchini

(Lamborghini on the ham zucchini)

jeep on a sheep

(Jeep on the sheep)

camaro on the sombraro

(Camaro on the sombrero)

ram on the yam

(Ram on the yam)

toyota on the toy yoda

(Toyota on the toy yoda)

Porshce on the Horse

(Porsche on the horse… uh)

kia on the mia

(Kia on the Mia)

mini cooper on the whinny pooper

(Mini Cooper on the Winnie-pooper)

buick on a blue pick

(Buick on the blue pick)

lexus on a sexist

(Lexus on the sexist)

Koenigesegg on the Conans leg

(Koenigesegg on the Conan’s leg)

bmw on the pow

(BMW on the P.O.W.)

ford on the lord


So there you go. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get ready for my next article, IF CARS COULD POOP.