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Mr. Beast is a YouTube sensation, but after he released his book with James Patterson, it made it clear that he was no writer. But in a world where there’s worry that all art is made with computers, it’s nice to see something just plain cringy for once, AI or not. This article celebrates that. Here are the cringiest lines from The Most Dangerous Games.
1. The AI Bot Is Behind Me, Isn’t He?
“No audience. No clout. Just the games. This is a battle for the biggest prize and the most important opportunity anyone has ever gotten. It’s also the hardest, craziest, and most lucrative competition I’ve ever been connected to. By a lot.”
This quote happens pretty early on in the book. It’s pretty telling that Mr. Beast didn’t even attempt to hide that he wrote with AI. The line “No audience. No clout. Just the games.” is cringy because it’s so obviously AI-written that denying it would be sad. The other issue is that the passage is tell, don’t show. It’s the biggest prize? The most important opportunity anyone has ever gotten? Show someone expressing that excitement.
2. Don’t Use AI Unless You’re Mr. Beast
“Any Participant who provides false information during registration or verification, circumvents or attempts to circumvent any verification step, or uses automated means or another person’s account to register or participate will be disqualified as determined by Sponsor in its discretion.”
This is cringy because the rule rings hollow when the rest of the book is clearly AI-generated. This is one of the rules participants must follow. It’s weird to see this because it reads like “rules for me, but not for thee.”
3. James Is Actually Really Smart and Awesome
“Jimmy Donaldson, Mr. Beast. If he can be brave, I can be brave too. Just like you, Jimmy, famous YouTuber. I’m going to follow your lead. Let’s go.”
This passage has been widely mocked by the general public, mainly because it reads like an unironic self-insert fanfiction where Mr. Beast is a flawless hero. There are several other passages like this where Mr. Beast is praised as a protector who stands up for players, which is jarring given his real-life controversies and class-action lawsuits.
4. The Contestants Are Terrified, But Still Hitting The Gritty
“This is dangerous. There will be rules. There will be medical support. There will be ways to step out if you have to. But—you can get hurt. You can die. That is not hype.”
If you’ve ever read a dystopian novel or watched Squid Game, they make you question your own reality and make you wonder if the world is really safe. Well… the author tries to do that while also inserting Mr. Beast’s upbeat brand identity. The passage is going okay, but ending it with “that is not hype” makes you feel a disconnect from the world it’s trying to create.
5. You’re the Best Ever Chosen One
“You are someone who will look the impossible in the face and tell it to sit down and shut up. The world needs that. The world needs you.”
Melodrama is fine, really, but when the whole book is full of it, it makes you want to gag. This and the other line, “The thing that scares you the most is the thing you have to do,” are said in the book by characters with completely straight faces. There are too many self-help mantras just dropped in the middle of a deadly challenge that read as childish in a mature scenario.
6. James Is Actually Really Smart and Awesome Part 2
“You’re crazy until you’re successful, and then you’re a genius.”
Oh boy. This really feels like Jimmy wanted to glaze himself for being an upstanding YouTuber. Yes, people called Mr. Beast crazy, and he became successful despite it. But these passages read as vindictive, and they often come out of nowhere.
7. Random Spanish to Non-Spanish Speakers
“No se preocupen, amigos. We move together, or we freeze together. Comprende?”
There is this whole sequence that starts on page 132 where there’s an American character that starts speaking Spanish unprompted to people who don’t speak Spanish. They’re not talking to Iker Casillas of Real Madrid, here. What makes it stranger is that no one reacts to it. Most of the dialogue reads like Jimmy has never spoken to another human being in his life.
8. Feel Bad For Me Because I’m Rich
“A billion dollars doesn’t make you a king. It makes you a target.”
This line is spoken by Owen, an ex-congressman who just drops it during a game where everyone is about to be eaten by sharks. You can feel Jimmy’s politics seeping in here. Because being a billionaire absolutely does make you a king. It reads as insecurity from one of the world’s richest people.
9. Trust Mr. Beast, You Are Very Cool
“He didn’t look like a man who expected trouble. He looked like a man who’d already been told what trouble will look like, and exactly how fast it ends.”
Everyone wants to make their own Quentin Tarantino cool quote, but it’s harder than it looks. This is how the author described a security guard. It’s a really intense, edgy description for a guy who’s just standing there waiting. When the security guard does speak, his dialogue is flat. So they fail to make the character look cool at all.
10. Choose Your Really Lame Fighter
“Wyatt Jordan has the highest scores on the aptitude test taken by all competitors. Resourceful and charismatic, Wyatt is a survivor and a born leader. He’s a polished speaker and good with words.”
When choosing a Mortal Kombat 1 character, you probably expect some sort of dialog like this. But this type of writing wouldn’t be found in a modern game. It’s that bad for characterization. It’s another example of tell, don’t show. Wyatt Jordan sounds more like a concept than a real person, and while reading it, it felt like looking at a character stat sheet.
Mr. Beast Should Hire a Better Ghostwriter
Mr. Beast’s writing isn’t good, but the biggest issue is that it’s 100% AI, so it’s hard to even criticize his writing because it isn’t even his. Next time, Jimmy should hire a ghostwriter who actually cares about the craft. Or better yet, he should write the book himself. It would be infinitely better than what The Most Dangerous Games is.
