Is She the One? How to Tell if Your Partner Is for Life

Love is a beautiful thing. Finding the one you want to spend forever with is one of the best parts of life, but is she the one? Dating someone is essentially test-running what your marriage will be like, so it’s vital to know you’re sure before making things legally binding. While the divorce rate is the lowest it’s been since 2000, that doesn’t guarantee your marriage won’t add to the statistic if you don’t think things through.

Your girlfriend should make life easier. While you might have your fights and disagreements, she should be the person you know you can come to with anything. Don’t let the length of a relationship stop you if things turn unsafe or you aren’t happy. But if you’ve been with someone for a relatively short time, thinking, “Is she the one?” is pretty common. Here are some ways to answer the question for yourself.

1. Does She Make You Happy?

This question can appear simple, but the answer goes much deeper. Someone can make you happy while also bringing negativity into your life. A partner who truly loves you will be your biggest cheerleader, work through arguments rather than dwell on them and makes you feel like you can be yourself. That’s not to say both of you won’t do things that irritate each other, but you should have the desire to grow and change — not do so because she demands you to.

2. Do You Have Healthy Boundaries?

Even though you’re becoming one half of a pair, that doesn’t mean you should ditch everyone else for her. More importantly, you shouldn’t lose touch with who you are alone in favor of who you are in a relationship. Healthy boundaries mean you keep up with each other when you can, but hanging out with friends or not responding to a text for a few hours doesn’t start a blowup fight. Remember — you are your own person and your inner peace is as vital as hers.

3. Are You Excited to Introduce Your Loved Ones to Her?

Regardless of your relationship with your family, you likely have people in your life who mean a lot. Can you envision her fitting in with your relatives or your group? Just because she’s shy and may need a little help with small talk doesn’t mean it’s a bad relationship. Ask yourself if she’s someone you’re excited to bring home and is willing to make an effort. They don’t have to be best friends, but they should at least get along and be able to hold a slight conversation.

4. Can You Imagine a Happy Life Together?

The biggest thing to ask yourself is if you can picture being with this person forever. Don’t just envision your wedding day — think even further and imagine having kids if you want them and growing old together. Does it seem like you would be happy? Can you picture a future together at all? Think through her good and bad traits and consider if forever with her sounds like something you really desire.

How to Answer the Question “Is She the One?”

Love should always add to your life, not detract from it. The challenges you face in your relationship should make the two of you stronger rather than create permanent rifts. While there’s no perfect solution to answer “Is she the one?”, asking yourself these questions could help you reach a clearer conclusion.