How to Break Up With Someone (The Smart Way)

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There’s no easy way to put this (article). Breakups aren’t the most fun activities in the world. They can change your whole world, no matter which side of the breakup you’re on. But it’s a reality of life. People grow, and sometimes two people grow apart from each other. Breakups are hardly easy, but this guide will show you how to break up with someone smartly. 

1. Think About Why

First, you’ll want to consider why you’re breaking up with your partner. The reasons may already be apparent. But it’s wise to give this decision plenty of thought before you go through with it. What reasons specifically make you want to leave the relationship? Is it more of an issue with you or your significant other?

If you’re having problems, it’s wise to communicate with your partner what your grievances are. They can potentially resolve these problems and improve the circumstances with this knowledge. However, breaking up is easier if you have spoken to them numerous times about the issues.

2. Practice Beforehand

Once you’ve decided, you should practice how the conversation will unfold beforehand. Even if it means practicing in front of a mirror, speaking out loud about how you feel is wise. You may stutter or become emotional, and that’s normal for this level of conversation. 

Practicing the breakup conversation will help you understand what you feel inside. And it may lead to more ideas within your head that you didn’t think of beforehand. This method helps anyone afraid of public speaking and confrontation, considering those two are easily intimidating. 

3. Do It in Person

When ready, make every effort to do the breakup in person. If you live a long way from each other, use a phone call, FaceTime or another video chat method to have this conversation. There are exceptions to the face-to-face rule. For example, if you consider your partner to be dangerous, it’s best to prioritize your safety. 

In-person breakups are optimal because they provide the best closure. Also, they show you have enough courage and respect for your partner to tell them to their face why you’re ending the relationship. An in-person breakup is also the least ambiguous way to close things. A text message or letter can be hard to decipher. But hearing your voice leaves no doubt about how you feel.

4. Consider the Location

Breakups are complicated, so planning details and covering your bases is essential. Another aspect to consider is the location. It might not seem like a big deal, but the setting is critical. 

First, you should prioritize privacy. No matter where you are, find a private area where you two can be alone and undisturbed for an extended amount of time. The best place would be either of your homes. Avoid public settings because these conversations can quickly deteriorate into awkward situations and draw unwanted attention. A restaurant or dive bar shouldn’t be on your list. 

Of course, exceptions apply if you want to do an in-person breakup, but your partner is liable to be dangerous. A public setting may help because you’ll have public protection around you. Have a trusted friend or relative nearby if you think the situation could turn harmful. 

5. Be Honest and Respectful

The last tips for how to break up with someone are being honest and showing respect. They say honesty is the best policy, and it’s more than a cliché. In this situation, it’s best to be upfront with your decision and respond honestly to any questions they have. If your partner feels surprised, it’s safe to assume they’ll have plenty of questions. 

It’s also critical to show respect and stay as calm as possible during the breakup. These conversations can quickly become a fight, and emotions can run high. Keep your voice in a civil and respectful tone at all times. Respect is the basis of healthy relationships, even with someone you don’t want to have a relationship with. Maintaining respect ensures a smoother transition for all parties involved moving forward.

How to Break Up With Someone 101

Neil Sedaka’s famous song “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do” is correct. These conversations are hardly ever easy. If you need to break up with someone, take your time and think it through. Take the process seriously for your mental and physical health.

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