How to Help a Friend Going Through Divorce

If
one of your friends is going through a divorce, your instinct may be to run and
hide until they get things back together. However, that’s hardly the best way
to show that you care. Even though men have a reputation for stoicism,
they feel things every bit as strong as the opposite sex. Traumatic experiences
impact them, and you can help ease the blow. 

Follow
these tips to boost your pal power through this challenging time. 

Keep Offering Invitations 

Your
formerly gregarious office best friend no longer bothers to make so much as a
token appearance at happy hour. When you invite them to hang out, they vaguely
mutter that they’re busy. They must want alone time, so leave them in peace —
right? 

Now
is the ideal time to keep those invitations flowing. Depression can trap your
friend in a
downward spiral of rumination and negative thinking. They may
begin to believe, however mistakenly, that you no longer care or want them
around. Even if you think they’ll say no, extend the offer anyway. 

Listen to Their Worries

Your
friend may sometimes spew the most outrageous statements. Consider this the
ideal opportunity to work on your active listening skills. After all, most
people only remember 20%
of what people say when they’re listening.

That
said, try not to trauma-bond, especially if you have recently experienced a
split. The next time you find yourself kvetching with your friend over
brewskis, honestly examine how you feel afterward. Chances are, you don’t feel
any better — you might even have a raging hangover. Offer a comforting
shoulder, but don’t let yourself get caught up in a negative gripe cycle. 

Help With Necessary Chores 

Does
your friend have little ones? If he and his soon-to-be-ex are splitting
childcare responsibilities, he may need a night out but lack a babysitter.
Offer to watch the children so that he can have some me-time. 

Also,
remember that your friend might not do their best at taking care of their
physical health. Nothing is wrong with one guy fixing another a healthy
keto-friendly casserole or two. 

Pass On the Overindulgences 

Hey,
it’s understandable — your friend may hit the bottle harder than usual during
this time. However, do your best not to cater to their urge to binge-drink.
This behavior costs
society $191 billion per year in productivity and health costs —
and could land your buddy with a life-altering DUI. 

If
they live in a legal cannabis state, they may turn to this means for relief,
but driving while impaired can have costly, even deadly, consequences. Play
designated driver when you have to — or order them an Uber. 

Respect Their Confidence 

Your
friend may confess things to you when they’re vulnerable that they would never
tell another soul. Maybe they did commit infidelity with the office hottie.
However, if you whisper down the alley, your gossiping could create severe
career consequences for your friend at a time when he’s already reeling
emotionally. Assume you must hold anything your friend tells you in confidence
unless they specify otherwise. 

Check-In With Them Regularly

Nearly
everyone leads life at a frenetic pace these days, struggling to keep up with
inflation and raise families in an increasingly chaotic world. Weeks could pass
before you think to reach out to your friend — a time during which they might
sink into a downward spiral of despair. 

Make
an effort to check in with them regularly, even if it’s only a quick text once
or twice per week to say, “Hey buddy, how are you feeling?” Those six words on
a cellphone screen can be a lifeline to someone drowning in a sea of
melancholy. 

Help a Friend Through a Challenging Time 

Guys
often maintain such stoicism that they struggle to be a good friend when
someone they care about is suffering. If your buddy is going through a divorce,
help them navigate the rough waters with these tips.