How to Build Confidence in 10 Actionable Steps


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Confidence isn’t something that appears from out of thin air. It’s something that slowly develops through your daily habits. If you want to learn how to build confidence, you need to change your lifestyle, not your mindset. This list doesn’t have any arbitrary advice about “adopting a positive mindset” or “manifesting good vibes”. This list is all about action.

These 10 actionable steps will help you see concrete results and turn you into the man that you want to be.

1. Smile More

The simplest step to building confidence is to smile more. There are two reasons why smiling is so effective. First of all, smiling literally tricks your brain into happiness by releasing endorphins like serotonin that boost your mood and lower your stress levels. If you’re lacking confidence, smiling more often can make your attitude do a complete 180.

Smiling also makes a great impression on strangers because it’s a universal sign of friendliness. If you ever find yourself in an awkward situation, simply cracking a smile will put yourself and other people in the conversation at ease. Plus, it will make you much more approachable for potential partners if you’re in the dating scene.

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2. Fix Your Posture

Next, you need to fix your posture. There’s no such thing as a confident man with hunched shoulders and a drooping neck. A confident man stands up straight, keeps his chin up and looks people in the eye. Here’s what a good posture looks like:

  • Stand straight and keep your shoulder blades back.
  • Keep your head level and in line with your body.
  • Suck in your abdomen.
  • Don’t lock your knees.
  • Keep your feet shoulder-width apart.
  • Balance primarily on the balls of your feet.
  • Let your hands hang at your sides.

You can improve your posture by doing neck and back stretches every day, but good posture largely depends on your self-awareness. You must stay mindful of your posture at all times, even when you’re alone. Eventually, standing and sitting with good posture will become second nature.

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3. Hit the Gym

Physical activity is an absolute necessity for everyone’s health, but it’s especially important for men. We are designed to be strong and athletic. A weak and slow man is hardly a man at all. If you don’t suffer from any health issues, you have an obligation to exercise and take care of your body. Not everyone is fortunate enough to have complete physical freedom. 

The gym is the best environment for men to start their physical transformations. You get some much-needed socialization with peers, engage in healthy competition and get support when you need it most. Weight training will increase your testosterone levels and make your physique more attractive, both of which will boost your confidence in an amazing way.

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4. Fix Your Diet

Of course, a weight training routine requires a complementary diet plan. There are a few simple dietary changes you can make to accelerate your progress and improve your confidence — eliminate processed foods, cut back on sugar and eat more lean meats. These three principles are all you need to make a big change in your body composition.

You must also limit your alcohol consumption. Getting drunk might give you a temporary confidence boost, but it’s not a recipe for long-term success. You never want to get hooked on any food or drink, let alone alcohol. Exercising self control in this regard can help you learn how to build confidence in an amazing way.

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5. Clean Your Room

Have you ever heard of a confident individual who lives in a pigsty? Of course not. Confident people hold themselves to high standards. They don’t allow their bedrooms to get messy and disorganized. On the contrary — they keep their bedrooms clean and take good care of their belongings. 

There is a clear link between cleanliness and good mental health when it comes to your living space. If you’re surrounded by filth, your attitude will also become filthy. If you’re surrounded by structure and organization, your mind can naturally declutter itself. Your stress will decrease and you’ll learn how to build confidence just by tidying up.

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6. Develop Healthy Grooming Habits

A good physique and healthy diet don’t mean much without good grooming habits. You must take good care of your hair, teeth and nails. Showering every day is a good start, but you might also have to develop a skincare routine, get haircuts more frequently and take other exhaustive measures to maintain a healthy appearance.

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7. Update Your Wardrobe

In case you haven’t noticed the pattern yet, appearances matter when you’re learning how to build confidence. If you look good, you’ll feel good. That’s why updating your wardrobe can work wonders for your self-esteem. Try to dress more formally instead of wearing a t-shirt and jeans to every occasion. Broaden your horizons and experiment with different styles.

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8. Learn Something New Every Day

Constant improvement is one of the keys to building confidence. Try to learn something new every day, no matter how small or insignificant it might be. It could be a historical fact, a math equation, a new exercise or a new skill at work. You have a plethora of options to choose from. Building a solid foundation of knowledge and relevant skills will make you more confident in all aspects of life.

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9. Serve Others

Focusing on self-improvement isn’t the only option when learning how to build confidence. Humility and generosity are strong signs of a confident person. If your job or hobbies involve public service, then you’re already doing a great job. The positive effects you bring to your community will make you feel better than any outfit, diet plan or exercise routine. 

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10. Put Yourself Out There 

Finally, in order to build confidence you must overcome your trivial fears in social situations. The only way to do that is through gradual exposure. Voluntarily make yourself uncomfortable so you can become more resilient when talking to other people. You might embarrass yourself, but who cares? Confident people care little about what other people think.

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Confidence is Earned

If there’s one thing you can take away from this guide, it’s that confidence is earned, not won. Everyone who is truly confident in themselves developed this positive attitude by making practical lifestyle changes. They had to earn high self-esteem through hard work and dedication. If you want to learn how to build confidence, you must be willing to put in the work.

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