Male Friendships: What Does Healthy Bromance Look Like?

---

Why are male friendships better? Is bromance good or bad? Bromance isn’t the normal male friendship you have with mates at the bar, gym or with a co-worker you shoot the breeze with during breaks. Although male friendships are often better than others, bromance is an entirely deeper bond, and a healthy one transcends all other friendships.

Think about that dude you talk about anything and everything with — the one you turn to when you need support or advice about something you don’t generally speak about. He’s the person there to share a laugh with or trust with your secrets. He’s who you feel you have more in common with than anybody else in the world — sports, interests, even types of girls.

Don’t you know what any of this means? Brother, you need to find a healthy bromance partner. 

Signs of Healthy Bromance

It’s true. Bromances are fantastic if you’re involved in a good one, but the feelings between you and your mate must be mutual. Without that, you could end up in a similar spot to Austin in Tim Robinson’s “Friends,” which could be better. You’ll soon tell the signs of healthy bromance if you recognize the following:

Sharing Deep Secrets

You’ve got secrets, right? You know, the ones you don’t share with anybody — your romantic partner, work buddies or even your shrink. Or you didn’t until your best friend in the whole world came along. Now you’re sharing these intimate personal, interpersonal and professional things with him so freely that it’s like they aren’t secrets at all, and he’s telling you all of his, too. 

But why? It’s as if there’s an inherent feeling of knowing you can trust this guy more than you would trust your brother. When the two of you are together, the feelings of ease and security you experience grow your mutual friendship daily. It’s a cool feeling, indicating you’re involved in healthy bromance.

Mutual Respect

In every friendship and relationship, there’s a time to step up and a time to step away. It’s weird how romantic partners and family members often cannot tell the difference, yourself included. Now you have this buddy who seems to understand precisely when you need support and when you need some alone time, and you know the same about him. 

You mutually respect each other’s space and understand each other’s flaws, strengths and idiosyncrasies within each other’s personalities, as if there’s an unwritten law between you. When it’s time for support and encouragement in following personal goals and ideals, there’s no doubt who’ll be with you for every step. It looks like healthy bromance is developing.

Open Communication

When you asked that guy training alone at the gym for some technique tips, you likely didn’t imagine that a short while later, you’d be having in-depth conversations about everything from your family problems to your political beliefs, with no pressure to justify anything. You may not agree on everything, although the number of times you do is uncanny. When you don’t, though, it’s alright. There’s never a fat argument or any feeling of animosity between you.

You’re on the way to healthy bromance when you answer your phone, and it’s your new buddy calling to see how you’re doing, especially if the “shoot the breeze” session develops into a serious conversation about life, love and everything else. When you finally hang up, you think how brilliant the chat was. Sharing is caring, and this growing friendship is a prime example.

Unerring Support

Some forms of support are unspoken. If you’re moving house or need a lift to fetch your repaired car, your friend will offer to assist without you asking. Sometimes, you need to vent, and who is there listening without judging — your best buddy. There’s often just a nod of their head or a casual pat on the shoulder, which is more meaningful than any words would be. 

As Don Draper asked in Mad Men, “Why does everybody need to talk about everything?” Men often don’t express emotions vocally, but you still inherently know the support and care are there. It’s a guy thing between close friends and highly appreciated. This unspoken, unerring support builds bonds between buddies, and its depth frequently indicates healthy bromance. 

Inside Jokes

Now for the fun stuff, starting with secret jokes only you and your best pal pick up. Something might happen in the bar, and you’ll catch each other’s eye and instantly erupt into laughter while everybody else looks on like you’re mad. There are comedic moments that only the closest friends share — evolving from past experiences or inside comments that develop over time. 

These inside jokes often form and develop from how something was previously said or pronounced. Something you both witnessed before may have prompted a funny comment, and neither of you can let it go since. It might be something really puerile that has caught your mutual sense of humor. Whatever the case, continually sharing and expanding these secret jokes builds a great friendship and budding healthy bromance.

Manly Activity 

Enjoying the same “guys-only” activities together fosters healthy bromance. You might play video games for hours or hit the track together. Maybe you’re both happiest fixing a car or experimenting with manly drinks, from Jack and Coke to Four Horsemen, at the local bar. Of course, there’ll always be whiskey involved somewhere. 

Where mutual manly interests exist between two guys, there’ll always be a great time had.  You’ll likely even start sharing small but meaningful gifts with each other for the hang of it. These experiences and mementos create memories and their fair share of great stories, which grow the bond of masculinity and build tighter friendships with every passing day. The more time you spend together doing guy stuff, the closer you are to sharing healthy bromance.

The Unwritten Pact

There’s a law between close male friends, commonly known as the “Bro Code.” This unwritten pact dictates that good buddies should always have each other’s backs, no matter the situation. Who outlines what’s included in the Bro Code? Nobody and everybody — there is no official document, and there never will be, but it’s an uncommunicated expectation among all men that you will never give away a good mate’s secrets and always stand up for them, whether they’re present or absent.

Once you’ve shown your best friend that you’ll uphold the Bro Code, no matter what, any existing respect between you will grow tenfold. The undefined honor and loyalty in this unwritten pact between men are expected and demanded and will grow a strong friendship to a healthy bromance status.

Healthy Bromance is a Fun and Memorable Experience

You’ll know when a male friendship develops into bromance, and if everything feels right between you, it’s likely a healthy one. Nothing wrong — just don’t let it intrude on “couple time” in your existing romantic partnership. However, if it’s truly healthy, mutual respect and communication will ensure those chances are slim, and you’ll enjoy the guy times you do spend together incredibly.